They died in the service

One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."
"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"


...................................



No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Adam's Underwear

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"



...................................
No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Sure! thats what they said the last time!

The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kind hearted pastor patted her hand and said "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me".

"Yeah", she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "That's what they said the last time too . . . "

...................................

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

A gift for who?

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

...............................

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Reward?

Moira lost her handbag in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping in Oxford Street, London.

A small boy found it and he returned to her. Looking in her purse, Moira reasoned, 'Hmmm.... that's strange.  When I lost my bag there was a £20 note in it.  Now there are four £5 notes.'

The boy quickly replied with a charming smile and in a cockney accent, 'That's right, madam. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward.

.........................

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Is your watch slow?

“I bet I can run faster than you can,” bragged Paul to his friend John one day. “I bet you can’t,” replied John. To prove his point Paul went to the top oh his building 5 stories high. He took off his watch and let it drop. Quickly. in a whirl of dust he dashed down the steps and, moments later, reaching the ground floor, held out his and caught the watch. Next was John’s turn, John dropped his watch and strolled down the flights of stairs, bought a soda from the vending machine, then walked calmly outside and caught his watch. “Hey, that was amazing!” remarked Paul. “How did you do that?” Simple,” said John. “My watch is five minutes slow!”


………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

A sure cure discovered for hiccups

A man rushed into a hospital and asked a nurse for a cure for hiccups. Grabbing a cup of water, the nurse quickly splashed it into the man’s face. “What did you that for?” screamed the man. “you don’t have the hiccups now, do you?” said the nurse. “No,” replied  the man. “My wife out in the car has them.”


………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Need some air?

When their car broke down in the desert, John, Paul, and Tim decided to go their separate ways. John took the radiator out of the car so he would have some water for the way. Paul took the mats from the car so he could shield the sun a bit. Tim, however, removed the door and started to walk. “Wait a minute,” said John. “Why are you taking the door with you?” “In case I need some air,” replied Tim. “I can roll down the window.”



………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Good Excuse

Little Johnnie got so good at forging signatures, he began charging his friends to write absentee notes for them. One day the principal found out and called him into the office. “Well, Johnnie,” said the principal, “you’d better have a good excuse for me.” “I do,” Johnnie replied. “But it’ll cost you."


………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Answered Prayer

Paul, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a parking lot. Looking up to the heaven’s he entreated “God if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right in front of his car.Paul looked back up, “never mind I found one.”


………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.

Alzheimers

I brought my grandfather to the doctor cause he wasn’t feeling all that well. The doctor tells him, “You’re test
results came back and I’m afraid I have some two pieces of bad news, “You have Cancer
and you have Alzheimer’s”. My grandfather turns to him and says, “Don’t worry could be worse, at
least I don’t have Cancer!”

………………………………………………

No church?  Try something new.  New Church at Banora Point, Tweed Heads, NSW, Australia.  Check out the details on our web site.